Not Proper

~900 words :: Peter Pan :: Hook/Mr. Darling :: 1/6/04
George Darling goes looking for his children but finds Hook instead. (Note: This was remixed by Penknife for Remix…Redux VII.)

Once upon a time there was a man named George Darling. He was quite handsome, but a bit uptight. The sort of man about whom was often said, “That man needs a good buggering. Possibly by a pirate.”

So. George was just going about his business when one day his children disappeared. He saw the leaves on the windowsill and had a sneaking suspicion that they’d run off to Neverland. Oh dear.

George fretted and wrung his hands and in the end, he decided that the only thing for it was to go to Neverland himself and bring them back. He didn’t tell his lovely wife, as he was sure she would worry.

Having no pixie dust, he was forced to take a coach, which is a rather long and round about way, but there you have it. When he finally arrived in Neverland, the first thing he did was remind himself that he was here to find his children and bring them back home and not at all to see that dashing pirate from his childhood, Captain Hook.

Captain Hook, however, had other ideas. Having received word of Mr. Darling’s imminent arrival, Hook was already waiting near the coach drop-off and immediately began following George as he made his way across the island to Peter Pan’s hideout, which George also remembered from his childhood. For a man who had put away so many dreams, George Darling had quite a good memory.

After following along for a bit, Hook got bored and decided to approach George directly. “George, darling” he said, slinging an arm around George’s shoulders. “So good to see you again.”

“H, Hook!” George stammered. “I was just looking for you, I mean my children.”

“Yes, of course you were,” Hook replied, smirking.

George felt a blush creep across his cheeks and his trousers felt altogether too tight suddenly. “I, erm…”

Hook continued smirking.

“Er…I should very much like to see your ship,” George said, forgetting all at once about his children, who were probably quite happy with Peter and would return home in their own time anyway.

“As luck would have it, there it is.” Hook gestured towards the large pirate ship anchored just ahead.

“So, so it would seem.” Smiling nervously, George followed Hook on deck.

“Smee, I have brought a guest aboard and I do not wish to be disturbed,” Hook said, managing to sound quite calm and extremely threatening all at once.

George Darling, meanwhile, was trying very hard to convince himself that he was not about to be buggered silly by a dashing pirate and, failing that, that he was not about to enjoy it. He had a beautiful wife at home, after all. It wasn’t proper to wish to be buggered by a pirate when one had a beautiful wife waiting at home, was it?

Alas, there was no one there to answer George except his own subconscious, which said, yes, yes, it is quite proper and let’s get on with the buggery.

Hook appeared to be of the same mind. Once the door was locked behind them, he began disrobing, dropping his coat onto the settee and then sitting down beside it to take off his boots.

“Erm…” George said.



“Why are you still dressed, my darling George?”

George hadn’t a clue. Why was he still dressed? When no good reason presented itself, he took off his shoes and nervously began unbuttoning his shirt.

“You’re taking too long,” Hook said, using his hook to rip through the remaining buttons. George hurriedly took off his trousers, lest Hook take it into his head to use his hook on those as well. His underclothes were next to go.

Now dressed in nothing but his socks and garters and spectacles, George stood before Hook.

“Like this, do you, George?” Hook smirked.

“I, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” George protested.

This,” Hook said, walking around George and sliding his hand down his torso to grab his erection, “is what I’m talking about.”

George gasped at the touch and leaned back against the pirate. How very forward of him! he thought.

“Now bend over the harpsichord and spread your legs.”

“Y, yes, Sir!” George quickly did as he was told.

Unfastening his trousers and pulling out his own cock, Hook positioned himself behind George. Then, with nothing more than a mouthful of spit to ease his way, he shoved into George and began fucking him hard. With his good hand, he reached around and began stroking George in time with his thrusts and soon they were both coming.

Once he had caught his breath, Hook pulled out and patted a trembling George on the shoulder. “Feel better now?”

George could only groan, but he did, in fact, feel much better. Apparently a good buggering really was what he needed.

Somehow he managed to drag himself to the settee and was soon asleep. When he woke up later, he was quite surprised to find himself in his own bed next to his beautiful wife. Not only that, but he didn’t feel in the least bit sore. Sighing, he turned over and tried to get back to sleep.

Of course you couldn’t get to Neverland by coach, he thought with a sigh, and vowed to get his hands on some pixie dust by any means possible.