Not Pretty When You Cry

~700 words :: Jude Law/Ewan McGregor :: 7/19/05
Jude’s bolloxed everything up, but maybe it’s not so bad after all.


Jude is obviously drunk when he stumbles in the door. “I’ve fucked it up,” he says without preamble, “completely bolloxed it up.”

“Oi, what’re you-” Ewan’s never seen him cry before, and the sight of Jude’s red-rimmed eyes makes him feel oddly protective. “Fucked what up?”

Everything,” Jude sniffles. Ewan steps back to let him in and Jude heads straight for the fridge, grabbing as many beer bottles as he can hold. Arms full, he makes a beeline for the sofa, Ewan trailing behind.

They’ve gone through several bottles each, and Jude’s sniffles have calmed down to nothing more than the odd hiccup when Ewan finally gets tired of waiting.

“So…what do you mean by everything, exactly?”

Jude’s shoulders slump and his mouth twists up a little like he might start crying again. “Susan dumped me,” he moans. “She found out about Cathy, and I-”

“Who’s Cathy?” Ewan frowns. “Not that Cathy from Sainsbury’s?”

Shoulders slumping even further, Jude nods.

“What, you shagged her? I thought you were just being friendly. Christ, Ju-”

“I know it was stupid, all right? I’ve already been through that with Susan,” Jude says miserably. “I’ve ruined everything.”

“Hey…” Ewan gives him an awkward pat on the shoulder, tries to sound encouraging. “Come on, mate, it can’t be that bad. She’ll get over it.”

“She’s had it, she said. She said…” Jude falls silent, and then takes a swig of his beer, downing most of the bottle in one go. “She said it’s bad enough she has to share me with you.”

It’s not so much that the words take a while to sink in, it’s just that Ewan doesn’t know what to say to that. So he takes another drink, too, and then turns to look at Jude, resting one hand on Jude’s thigh. Jude looks horrid; crying really doesn’t suit him at all. But his lips are parted and he’s watching Ewan like he’s just waiting to see what Ewan’ll do.

“Might as well be damned for something you’ve actually done,” Ewan mutters, and leans in, half-afraid Jude will pull away.

He doesn’t. His mouth is still open when their lips meet, and after a few moments he starts kissing back. He makes a little noise at the back of his throat that sends a jolt straight to Ewan’s cock, and when his tongue slips into Ewan’s mouth, Ewan’s half-tempted to stop and pinch himself just to make sure he’s not dreaming.

Reaching behind him, he wedges his beer bottle between the cushions and pushes Jude back against the sofa. Jude’s still holding onto his bottle, but his other hand is splayed over Ewan’s chest and as they kiss, his thumb flicks tentatively over Ewan’s nipple.

Ewan pulls back, breathing heavily. Jude still looks wretched, just a bit more dishevelled, and he blinks at Ewan and doesn’t say anything, which makes Ewan nervous.

“So,” Ewan starts, “I uh…”

And Jude says, “Yeah,” and then, “erm, I…”

“It’s okay. It’s not, I mean, we’re still good.” Ewan scrambles awkwardly to his feet, not meeting Jude’s eyes. His hard-on’s embarrassingly obvious and he suddenly feels much too sober for this. “I’m just… It’s late. I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Right,” Jude says softly, but Ewan’s already across the room and he’s not sure if he just imagined it.

Hours later Ewan still isn’t asleep. He heard Jude stumble down the hall to his own bedroom a while ago, and he wonders if Jude got undressed, or if he crawled into bed still in his jeans and t-shirt. He wonders if Jude’s thinking about him and if he’ll act like nothing happened in the morning.

A knock at the door and a low “Ewan?” wake him up from a half-doze a little later. He sits up and squints muzzily as the door squeaks open. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” Ewan answers. He can just make Jude out, his white boxers and t-shirt standing out in the darkness. “What is it?”

Jude pads over to the bed, swearing under his breath as he trips over something, and when he reaches Ewan he stands there for a moment, scratching the back of his neck.

“What?” Ewan says again, trying to ignore his sudden erection.

“Do you think- I mean uh…” And up close now Ewan can see he’s not the only one who’s hard. “D’you think we could try that again?”