No Explanation

~500 words :: LotRiPS :: Dom/Elijah :: 10/18/05
Elijah doesn’t know how it happened.

Elijah flips the switch and leans back against the wall, breathes deep, eyes closed so he can’t see himself disappear. The one time he’d looked, he’d ended up collapsed on the floor in a puddle of his own vomit, his hand and arm transparent in a way flesh and bone definitely shouldn’t be. The technician on duty had fixed him up, no problem, but it’s not something Elijah can easily forget. That doesn’t stop him from using the machine, though. He just makes sure he closes his eyes when he gets in. He can still feel it, though, and sometimes that’s enough to make him sick, leave him feeling nauseated on arrival.

This time it’s one of the last days. The tenth day before the end, to be precise. They still haven’t perfected the technology to where you can pinpoint an exact moment, so Elijah has to wait around a bit. It’s always boring, not being able to touch anything, though this time he finds a magazine open on the table and at least he can read that, though one of the pages is just an ad.

Oh, there’s the door. Not such a long wait after all. He can hear it sliding open, and there he is with Dom, talking and laughing like nothing could ever go wrong. Then Elijah looks up and Now Elijah could swear their eyes meet, even though he knows it’s not possible for anyone to see him like this.

Things are slightly different from his memory, like how Dom kisses him instead of the other way around. Now Elijah steels himself, waiting, watching himself out on the balcony smoking those old fashioned clove cigarettes like he used to do all the time. He watches Dom go out and join Then Elijah, but no matter how closely he looks, he can’t see any sign. No wonder he didn’t see it coming. He can’t even see it coming now that he knows.

Dom slides his hand over Then Elijah’s hip and leans in to kiss the back of his neck, and Then Elijah turns and blows smoke in his face and Dom just laughs and swats him playfully and kisses him again. How did it go from this to “I met this bloke. His name’s Billy…”?

Orlando says there is no explanation. He says Elijah should stop obsessing like this, that he’s making himself sick. “It’s been five years,” he says, when Elijah is back in the present, shivering and sipping a soft drink to try and settle his stomach. “He’s not coming back.”

“I don’t want him to come back,” Elijah lies, and from the way Orlando’s mouth tightens, he knows Orlando knows it’s a lie, too. “I just want to know why.”

“It just happens,” Orlando says helplessly. He starts to reach out and stops, his arm dropping to his side, fingers curling up into a fist. “You don’t need him…”

The unspoken words hang in the air, and Elijah wants to say something else, but it would be lying. “But I do.” He hunches his shoulders and stares down at his glass. “I’m sorry…”